Monkeyshines

Archive for the ‘Feline Thoughts’ Category

Feline Book Review: Binky to the Resuce

Having recently reviewed the first instalment of Binky the Space Cat’s adventures, I instructed my hoomins to furnish me with the sequel, Binky to the Rescue, by Ashley Spires.

Cat schools aren’t big on teaching hoomin language (frankly, the cat community is staggered that learning Cat language isn’t compulsory in hoomin schools), but I’ve picked up enough to follow the dramatic story here, as the fictionalised Binky has exciting adventures in outer space (what hoomins call a ‘garden’). The drawings are lovely and expressive, and sufficiently detailed to bear repeated scrutiny. Altogether, thoroughly entertaining.

A Cat’s Tale – Part Six

The story so far: Binky is living happily with two big hoomins and two sticky-fingered little hoomins. But there are two more additions to the household on the way…

So, there I was one day, dozing on the back of my armchair, keeping an eye on the world through the window, when I see my big hoomins coming home to feed and stroke me – but with a big rotten dog in tow. I know, to my benefit, that hoomins are suckers for a pair of wide eyes and a nuzzling nose, but really… The dog and I did not get on at all; she seemed to believe that she was in charge of the hoomins, and I was rather too little to convince her of the errors of her ways.

I carved out my own territory within the house, and still got some welcome attention from my hoomins; but I also got some unwelcome attention from the dog. And then one of the big hoomins started swelling like she did just before the little hoomins appeared… Really, this was a little too much for my delicate soul, and ultimately led to another change of house. I had to endure some time in that unpleasant box (described elsewhere), but at least the dog had disappeared. I had two new hoomins to look after, and I’ve now trained them to look after me with tasty food, milk, and regular combings. Lovely.

I like my new hoomins, but a sensitive cat such as myself naturally misses the attentions of my former hoomins, even the ones with jam all over their paws. Still at least there are no squawking little hoomins in my current home.

Feline Book Review: Binky the Space Cat

My hoomins often seem to be almost as interested in ‘books’ as me, which I have never really understood until now. In fact, I have only just worked out what a book is, now that one of my hoomins has bought Binky the Space Cat for me. A lady hoomin called Ashley Spires has evidently used me as inspiration for a lovely story about a black-and-white cat and his hoomins, although I appear a bit tubbier (and, it must be said, less handsome) in print than in real life.

Binky the Space Cat

The Real Binky

The fictionalised Binky is clearly drawn by a talented hoomin, with a fine appreciation of feline foibles, and a clear understanding of how much hoomins rely on us cats. I don’t know what my hoomins would do with all the cat food and milk that they have, without me around to eat it for them. If all books are as amusing as this, then I can almost forgive my hoomins for reading them instead of stroking me. Almost.

The Perils of Feline Beauty

<Sigh> When a cat is as handsome as me, sometimes it’s hard to avoid the glare of the paparazzi.

A cake? For little ole me?

Today my hoomins celebrated an important anniversary by baking me a lovely cake; I have been the subject of their adoration for a year now. (Apologies for the shaky photograph – I think the hoomin behind the camera must have been trembling with excitement.)

Supercat!

Supercat says: “Your puny website margins cannot hold me!!”

A Cat’s Tale – Part Five

The story so far: Binky Mackenzie has recovered from his accidental, over-zealous-grooming-induced, defenestration. But his house is about to change shape again…

One of my hoomins disappeared after a while, to be replaced by a taller one that liked to dance; or rather, that liked to make me dance. Initially I was not over the moon about this; but any sort of attention is better than none, and as it turns out I’m a pretty slinky mover.

The house continued it’s shape-shifting, smell-shifting behaviour, but by now I’d grown used to such changes; a lap is still a lap, whatever colour the walls. Gradually, one of my hoomins seemed to swell up, which was a bit inconvenient as her lap shrunk correspondingly. But worse was to come – evidently she burst open, and released two small, bald, mewling cats, or so I thought at the time. These creatures demanded, and received, outrageous levels of care and affection. It was enough to make a cat’s fur fall out.

The pair of animals changed over time, coming to resemble little hoomins. But with stickier paws. I’m sure they loved me (I am a dapper, handsome cat, after all), but they were rather noisy, and I have a delicate disposition. I like hoomins, on the whole, but I prefer them when they are big enough (and sit still long enough) to have laps…

To be concluded…

When you’re a cat, every day is caturday

Recipe for a happy cat: mix equal parts cushion, warmth, and a view of the outside world. Leave in the sun for 12-18 hours.

A Cat’s Tale – Part Four

The story so far: Binky Mackenzie has found a nice home in the suburbs, but his adventures are far from over…

My house stayed the same for a while, which was nice, but things are always changing; this morning, for example, I found an interesting smell behind a door that I’m sure never used to be there. Anyway, the shape of the house eventually changed again, and the garden seemed further away. One of my hoomins carried me out there once, but I successfully communicated my discomfort by staying within a paw’s breadth of his feet, and wheeling out my best plaintive voice. I did not get taken outside again. Although later I did fall out of one of those holes that you get in the sides of houses, after I lost my balance during a particularly vigorous grooming session. I was a bit shaken up, but I got an inordinate amount of attention from my hoomins afterwards, so it didn’t turn out too badly.

To be continued…

“Running to the swings, running away from Satan…”

I don’t really understand why, but one of my hoomins (who I don’t see much of lately) is doing a lot of running. Perhaps she’s running away from a big rotten dog. Anyway, she seems to want other hoomins to pay her to do this running – maybe she’s a bit too loud for those of us with delicate ears, and people would be glad to pay her to be a bit further away. But it seems important, and I’m keen on anything that makes my hoomins happy, since that generally results in more treats for me; so please do be generous.